Less than a day

So the last two days have been an emotional rollercoaster ride for me. It's funny how things seem to all climax at the same time. I think I had a meltdown yesterday. That's what I'm calling it anyway. Right now, I have a million and a half things to do, and I find myself typing a blog post. I'm slightly retarded in that way.

I hate when I want to help someone but I can't. I hate that sense of helplessness when the solution seems so clear and simple in my mind. If only I could let the person see the situation through my eyes. But it's not that easy. It's never that easy, and yesterday all of the desperation came bubbling up within, and I tried as hard as I could to push it down. I failed. I need to work on controlling my emotions. I need to learn to let go. I don't know how to let go of a dream though. Oh well, this is just a vicious cycle that I keep talking myself through around and around, and what I really need to do, is to let go of the dream despite my desire to fight to the death for it. Maybe it's just not mine to have.

I have to go to work now.

This was completely not what I thought this post was going to be about when I opened the window to write it.